Dear Dominican Landlord,
I know that your life must be rough, owning an apartment complex and all. I'm grateful for our third floor walk up with the mini-fridge, florescent lights, and solar heated shower. I don't mind that we don't have hot water in our sink, that the cable goes in and out, or even the patio furniture posing as a living room set. What I'm having trouble with is this pathetic excuse for a bed.
Even the cats wake up with a crooked back. It is slanted heavily to one side, rolls away from the wall during the night, and I swear I can still feel the springs through the egg crate. This bed is making me wake up with pains in my side, neck, and lower back. It is giving me headaches. Please find it in your heart to replace our bed immediately with something like this.
Very truly yours,